Thursday, 22 January 2015

In search of a pesticide

The day Ayub was born, his parents had thrown one big ball of waste weighing 8 pounds on this planet. That ball grew up to become a six footer and seventy five kilograms young man. The ball of waste continued to regenerate waste which was much more than that generated by him during his visits to the toilets.

Ayub doesn't believe in using the dustbins. The other day when he discarded a chocolate wrapper in his office, one of his colleagues asked him to pick it up and throw it in the bin. But Ayub proudly claimed that he was an Indian and his behaviour was nothing but Indian. Ayub gave his colleague a piece of mind and asked him not to expect firangi behaviour (which was actually sophisticated behaviour) from his countrymen.

It is not that Ayub is an uneducated man. Ayub is a highly qualified professional who draws a fat pay cheque every month and warms up his equally expensive chair as well. As a student Ayub was good in studies. However when the teacher taught good habits and asked the students not to litter, Ayub had ignored the advice. He was too intelligent to follow it. Even when the prime minister of the country appealed to the countrymen to keep our motherland clean, Ayub knew that call was not for him. Ayub felt it served as a plank for those who were hungry for publicity. It was only for those socialites who held broom only for posing in front of the shutterbugs. It was another story that Ayub had never held a broom in his hand even for the purpose of posing for a photo.

Cats and dogs can urinate anywhere. Can you stop them? Can you fine them? Is the question Ayub asks when he stands and relieves himself as and when his bladder is full. It is  the call of nature says Ayub and doesn't mind relieving himself in the garden or in the protected monument. Thanks to people like Ayub the protected monuments carry rancid smell. I wonder if the protected monuments have been protected only for people who don't mind leaving their mark on the reel of time.

Ayub is a waste generator. He owns the most swanky car. He throws waste like tissues, wrappers of burgers, plastic bottles on the roads when he is driving. He has a reason to do so. According to him he is a tax payer. Indirectly he is paying for those sweepers of the municipal corporations. Ayub is well aware that these days the sweepers are paid well. So as Ayub is paying their salaries, he has right to litter. This litterbug has infected a large section of the Indian population. I stop now as I am working on a pesticide to kill this litterbug.

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