I am having fever for the past few days. Whenever I am ill, I feel I am going to die. What if I die now? The though invariably creeps in. When I ponder over this thought the following feelings emerge
I want to spend more time with my family, especially my mother. Most of my family memories are weaved around my mother. For majority of the times it was just me and my mother together as a family. I want to spend more time with her.
If I am to die now, I will repent not visiting so many wonderful places in the world. I love travelling. My school hardly arranged any excursions. My parents disliked all the good things of life, including travelling. That made me hanker more for travelling. The travel bug bit me for good. I am a traveller and not a tourist. I plan my own itinerary and my travels are more than visiting those tourist spots which you just tick on the list so that you can boast of visiting them at social gatherings. I want to travel more.
Now all of you know that I am a book worm, don’t you? But still my apetite for reading is not satiated. There are so many books to read, before I die. They take me to a different world all together. I thank my parents for never opposing me when I purchased books, even if they were expensive. Indeed as a loner books were and are my best friends.
Not taking life so seriously
If I were to die now I feel that I should not have taken life so seriously. I should not have taken those disappointments to my heart. I should not have had sleepless nights for those people, whose behaviour was not in control. I should not have worried about that pay cheque which was not deposited in my account for technical reasons. I should not have worried about my health. I should not have worried for my accommodation. For life itself is precious. All other things do not matter at all.
Now I am feeling better. I know that I am going to have a very long life. But these musings about if I were to die now will definitely add more meaning to my life. What say?