Every relationship has its own share of dynamics. If you analyze any relationship you will agree with me that in any relationship there is a dominant person who dominates and the other meekly accepts. The other's acceptance seems to be the fuel that makes that relationship going. The other person is reduced to a being a mere door mat.
Yes, that is the word door mat. I had become the door mat in that relationship. Why? Because I wanted to save it at any cost. Because I loved that person more than my life. She knew it. Even her parents knew it. My love for her had become a tool for blackmailing me. Yes, blackmailing - emotional blackmailing – the worst form of blackmailing in the world.
So if I did not succumb to their pressures they would take her away from me. My mind volleyed and cried for the unpleasant departure. But they were ruthless. For them it was just a tactics to upkeep their dominant position in the relationship. By doing so they thought that they were keeping me in their control. There was not an iota of pain in her eyes. Rather she kept the victorious glaze in her eyes intact.
Then again I was called to accept all their unreasonable demands. My love for her made me walk an extra mile and accept it. Surrendering is the basis of love, isn't it? You do not become big or small by saying sorry to any one. That was what I was taught. Little did I know that it was all wrong. So I apologized for all the wrongs which I had not done. She was back in my arms.
But then again the happy days flew like incense and we were back to square one. It was her way or highway. I had no word in spite of the fact that it was my money that was keeping the house running and I had not borrowed a single penny from her or her parents. It was their game plan. But little did they know that He is the planner. His plans are those which eventually work. Plans of us little mortals will not always work, no matter how meticulously we plan them. Don't they say – man proposes, God disposes.
So again I was emotionally blackmailed. Listen to us or we will take her with us, they said. The world seemed to have come to a standstill. I did not know what to do. I did not wish to lose her. I had become a puppet in their hands. I had totally forgotten that I too had a choice. There was no reason to submit to their demands when I did not owe a single penny nor any obligation towards them. I was trapped in their vicious plans.
But as stated earlier no matter how much one plans, His plans always prevail. “Do you agree to what we are saying,” asked her raucous father.
“Or we will take her away.” He said. His face had the wicked smile akin to those which the villains in the Bollywood movies and demons in the mythological serials have.
“Yes, you may take her with you.” I said.
“We will implicate you in several false cases.” Said her mother.
“I will spoil your career.” She threatened me.
But still I remained firm. I guess saying I would be wrong. I strongly feel that I was possessed by some strong holy spirit that day. It had decided that I too had a life of my own.
That day her father seemed to have lost the game. His plan had backfired. When the oppressed is no longer afraid of the oppressor, the game is over. I was free in a moment. I was empowered. I got my lost self-esteem back. I was one with the God. I feel that this is what Goddess Kali teaches us. Not to be afraid of anyone and to fight with the demons. All the wars are fought in the mind. They are first won or lost in the mind.