Free for download only on 4th and 5th March 2020

Sunday, 23 March 2014

Uncommon People Abundant Smiles 1

Today I am remembering the funniest incidents of my life. One relates to Anu. Her name was Anuradha Hawaldar. But every one addressed her as Anu. She used to come to my mother to learn conversational English. She had completed her B.Com and was pursuing her M.Com. Plastic carry bags were an integral part of her personality. Whether she went for shopping vegetables or she came for her English tuitions, whether she went for a marriage or to offer her condolences on the death of an acquaintance, big plastic carry bags given by the clothes shops were always clinged to her bosom. Anu was a guileless simpleton and hence was a butt of joke among her friends, who unlike her were pursuing MBA and  thus suffering from resultant superiority complex.
Once Anu went to the vegetables market. While she was busy looking for fresh farm vegetables she stepped into a basket of tomatoes, thereby crushing them like that at the  Tomatano festival.  The vendor lady held her leg tightly while it was still into the basket and she refused to let it go until she was compensated for the loss suffered by her.
On another occasion when she had been to the same market, one cow was also roaming in the market in a lookout for unguarded veggies so that she could gormandize on the gift of the farm until the vendor noticed it and shooed her away with a stick. Though there was no any bad blood between Anu and the cow, the cow tried to attack her, with the chief weapon in her armour – her horns.  Anu did not deter. She grasped the horns of the cow with both her hands, the way a driver maneuvers the steering wheel. Anu succeed and the cow had to change her course.
Anu had very high expectations when it came to her marriage. She wanted a very rich husband, one who would not have any parents or siblings. Only orphans suited the bill. However, there are very few orphans in the world who are multimillionaires.  Anu forgot that even she had two brothers who did not have a great fortune and also had an unmarried daughter. Everybody tried to convince Anu to bring down her bar of expectations. But she was a hard nut to crack. Anu crossed her thirties but was still unmarried.
Last heard, she is very happy. She has found a man who fulfilled both her expectations of full bank-balance and devoid of any chords and is in matrimonial bliss. Every person, however insignificant has a special place in your heart and he or she peeks out after many years for no any apparent reason, like Anu did in my musings today morning. 

Friday, 14 March 2014

Birthday Gift

I will turn 26 on this 20th and I have got the present of life time.  I have learned, after whining and crying for almost 26 years, not to react emotionally. But I do not repent learning this lesson after almost 26 years, for the reason that many people do not learn it during one life time. I feel fortunate to have learned it at quite a young age.  I guess everybody has to go through the bumpy road of life; the only difference is the time at which you meet the ups and downs. Some encounter the ups first and then the downs and vice versa.  The situation at hand remains static, unhindered even if we have sleepless nights and the ocean of our tears eventually dries up. The question “why me?” doesn’t really have any answer. The karmic philosophy attempts to answer the above question. But I am not really convinced with it. Life has offered me a unique gift – rather it is a lesson well learned – to be proactive and balanced in all situations. The emotional dilemma has occurred to many great people including the great warrior prince Arjuna and He has manifested Himself to offer the solutions to come out of the dilemma. The nomenclature may have changed from “Shrimat Bhagawat Gita” to “Emotional Quotient” and “Emotional Maturity”, but the problem persists.  I am glad that I now retain my peace of mind (which I feel is the greatest human need) and the worldly affairs like “what he said to me” and “why he behaved like that”, do not affect me and even if they do, their effect wards off in a day or two.

My best friend

To somebody who is/was very special,
 I am absolutely fine now. Life after a harsh struggle of four years, is falling upon the right track.  These four years were like hell fire. Let me be brutally honest to you, at times I felt like quitting and putting an end to everything!  I did not expect life to be a bed of roses. But I did not know it would be a bumpy ride full of hair pin bents either.
            I did not expect any favours from you - including monetary expectations. But yes I expected your patient ear. Yes I expect your hands to caress me and rub my back.  Yes expected your voice to sooth my ears. Yes I expected your presence, as mere being in your company would have soared my spirits. I expected your deep glance, which would assure me “everything will be alright.’
            But maybe I was being unreasonable in my expectations. Rather expecting anything was my biggest mistake. When I called you, most of the times you did not pick my calls.  You did not even bother to call me back. You yourself confessed that there was no particular reason for not attending the calls. When you picked the phone (if I were lucky) and uttered the word ‘hello’ my pouncing heart got some relief and your single word was enough to make my day a better one. But your following words ‘Don’t be a cry baby’, ‘you cannot change fate’, ‘I can’t help it’ made my days even sadder. I knew I was crying and whining and I knew you could not help it.  As regards fate, I never believed it and I do not even believe it today, after four long years of suffering. I gave my best shot, did all the efforts I could, but things did not work out. Yes, I thank God or the Supreme soul or positive energy (I am still confused which of these exists) for all my blessings. But I still do not believe in the fate.
            Let me be honest, your words were true, but were too lethal. Your words pierced my tender heart and shattered it into pieces. To add to my misery, everyone around me had a very supporting network and people to fall back upon.  Further there was no reason for you being so dry and indifferent.  There was no love lost between us, there were no arguments, no ego clashes -there was absolutely nothing to sour our relation. I wonder till date why you remained so untouched and aloof to my lonely sufferings.
            Today I have collected all the pieces of my life and am trying to put them together. I have started a new inning of life. Yes, I agree with you that this experience has made much more confident and a much better person.  But how can I attribute your indifference towards my sufferings as a crucial factor in my development as a person? I do not wish to analyze whether you are right or wrong. But how can you be so blunt?  You assert that you are always there for me,   but why are you not being vocal about your feelings and assure me that you reciprocate my feelings.

            Do not feel guilty. Let me make it very clear, you were special and continue to be one. I am very happy today and I do not blame you for my sufferings. I have learnt not to react form the heart, but from the little thing on my shoulders. I know you would not call me to wish good luck and expect me (as always) to understand that your best wishes are always with me. I have moved on and realised that there are no reasons at all for the behaviour of people. My new inning of life has started and I am looking forward to make it big. Forgive me for boasting, but I am confident that I will make it big even this time without requiring any one to boost my morale. Because now I know that I am my best friend!