‘Thank
you so much for everything that you have done for me. Sometimes I
wonder how my life would have been had you not been there.’ Soumya
said keeping her hand over mine. Having known her for all these
years, I knew she wasn’t lying. She indeed valued my presence in
her life.
‘Don’t
even mention it. I am always there for you. 365 days a week, 24X7’
I said placing my other hand over hers. That was when she pulled
back her hand and said. ‘Thanks.’
Some
relationships are like that. They don’t have any meaning. But do
relationships require any meaning? Aren’t they way beautiful the
way they are? Why do we want to compartmentalize them and give them
formal names?
Attribute
it to my conditioning or the social structure that I live in. I
wanted to take things forward with Soumya. I liked her company and
she liked being with me to. ‘You always inject a positive energy
into me.’ She would say giving me a hug.
We
would chat for long hours. Time slipped away but our chats did not
stop. I longed to be with her. To hear her giggles and to see her
smiles. I would call her almost every day. But she would agree to
meet me only once or twice a week. She would come to meet me as and
when she had any problems. She would take her heart out and I would
listen to her. Listen to her without giving any advice. Then once she
was done I would tell her a few jokes and she would laugh. I would
share the latest school gossip with her and she would widen her eyes
and say, ‘Oh, is it so?’ Once her mood was changed I would deal
with her problem, albeit subtly. I would focus on the positive things
of her life and that particular situations. Fiddling with her dupatta
she would say, ‘I never thought this way.’ She would return home
in a positive mood. Even her parents knew about it. So whenever she
was feeling down, her mother would say, ‘Go and meet Raj.’
‘It
would be so beautiful if we spend all our lives together.’ I said
one day sensing her jovial mood.
‘Of
course. We are friends and we will stay in touch.’ Gazing at the
walls she said.
I
went on to explain her that I wished to marry her. She didn’t
react. She neither accepted my proposal nor did she turn me down. The
status of our relationship was hanging somewhere in between.
She
came to me only when she had some problem in my life. That gave me a
feeling of being a doormat. I tried speaking to her a couple of times
about my feelings, she said that the caste barrier that stood tall
between us would never permit our union.
I
passed out of the school and went to college of which she was not a
part. The frequency of our contacts reduced and one day she married
some other person. Her marriage has its own set of ups and downs. She
calls me for guidance during the down phases and choses to ignore my
calls saying ‘The baby was crying.’ But still she remains special
in my heart. Sometimes I wonder would she have been happier if she
was with me. But the answer is we never know how our lives would have
been if we had taken some other decision. May be yes, may be no.
My
head was throbbing. I was to appear for my final year exam in next
week. I was too worried. No matter how much I studied, I was not sure
if I would be able to top the examinations. I had topped the
examinations for the past two years and now there was tremendous
pressure on me to maintain my track record. The fear of outcome made
me close my book. I sat holding my head in my hands. All sorts of
negative thoughts were bombarding me. What if I don’t top the
examinations? I would lose everything. One bad thought gave rise to
another and finally I was doubtful if I would pass my examination.
That was when my mother stroked my back and said, ‘Don’t worry
child. Do your best and leave everything to God. After
all, everything is not in our control.’
My mother was not that educated. Yet she knew this philosophy which
is ingrained in every Indian."कर्मणये
वाधिकारस्ते मां फलेषु कदाचन
। मां कर्मफलहेतुर्भू:
मांते
संङगोस्त्वकर्मणि"
।। Says
the Bhagwat Gita which is revered in every Indian household. In
simple words it means that perform your duties and actions, but never
hanker for the end result.
It
was the end result which I was worried about and once I detached
myself from it, a heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders. I
studied without any pressure of the outcome, wrote my exams. No
wonders I topped the examinations. But I had learnt a valuable
lesson. Rather it was always in my genes. Some dust had gathered on it.
My mother had wiped it and I was again reintroduced to the greatest
philosophy – All things are not in our control.
We
Indians have known for thousands of years that we cannot control
everything. But we are not fatalistic. We
know we cannot control the storm. Instead of wasting energy on how to
prevent the storm, we focus on how we can prepare ourselves to face it.
Majority of Indians are poor. Yet they have the most beautiful smiles
in the world. This is because of the true contentment,
which comes from acceptance
of things which we cannot change.
Even
modern science has classified persons into two categories. Type A are
the persons who want to control everything.
They are always stressed. They are more prone to heart diseases. Type
B people know that everything is not in their control and this
acceptance saves them from cardiac problems. Doctors suggest that
Type A people should change their personalities to prevent heart
diseases.
I
was an atheist, but when I learnt that everything is not in my
control, I began to believe in God. As told in the Bhagwat Gita, I
surrender my actions at His feet. That has made me more relaxed, more
open. No wonders Indian influence is increasing in Lufthansa’s TVCs.
#MoreIndianThanYouThink
Monday, 17 April 2017
Have you read my latest book The Story of My Second Marriage
A
person who has been behind the bars for many months speaking of
morality is ironical. But that has not deterred Saharasri Subrata Roy
Sahara from
writing his second book in Think
with me
in Thoughts from Tihar trilogy.
This
small book has five chapters each devoted to Electoral System and
leadership, Population, Education System, Media and Religion. The
author discusses each of this topics, shares his point of view and
offers solutions for the betterment of the existing system. I was
unaware of the Nominated Deputy Member of Parliament mentioned in the
book.
The
book gives heavy heady doses of morality and is neither encouraging
nor entertaining. So go for this book only and only if you are a die
hard fan of the author.
There
are numerous books written on creative writing. But all of them are
written by foreign authors with references to foreign novels. There
is nothing written by an Indian to help the upcoming authors hone
their skills. Kissing the Demon
by
Amrita Kumar
fills this void on the Indian literary scene.
To
plot or not to plot is an eternal dilemma for every author. This book
answers this question. It has a section devoted to creating the
unforgettable characters. Point of view is also discussed in detail.
I really liked the tips offered by the author for writing dialogues.
The way she tells us to incorporate the story in the settings is
bound to help every author.
A
book written is a job only half done. Editing and finding a publisher
continue to be a nightmare for every author. The book deals with
these aspects as well.
This
isn’t a book, it is a course in creative writing. Hence this book
is highly recommended.
An
accident, a girl in coma, a boy in search of a girl whom he loved,
Probal Mazumdar’s debut novel Key to My Soul has a familiar
premise. The protagonist Siddharth is in his school when he meets the
love of his life Hazel. One day Hazel suddenly disappears only to
resurface after seventeen years, this time immobile in a vegetable
state. What she has left behind for him are letters, which will
reveal some deep hidden secrets.
The
book makes a promising beginning. If you grew up in the eighties and
the nineties, you will perfectly relate to his writings. The feeling
of nostalgia is the USP of this book. The free-flowing language
makes you to yearn for more. But unfortunately the novel falters and
doesn’t live up to expectations. The letters neither gel with the
narrative nor do they evoke emotions. The novel drags in the second
half. There are couple of spelling mistakes in the book. Read this
novel only if you like reading mushy love stories which defy logic.
Lopamudra
Banerjee’s Thwarted Escape: An Immigrant's Wayward Journey
introduced me to a new genre called creative non-fiction. Until
then I had never read anything like that.
This
book is a collage of various experiences. Her growing up years in
India in a Bengali family. The traumatic experience of being abused
as a child. Her empathy towards the Delhi gang rape victim to her
motherhood the author choses so many topics. Her life in the US too
forms an important part of this narrative.
Lopamudra
isn’t a writer. She is a poet, she is a painter who with her words
weaves poetry and paints the canvass, bringing true to life
characters who stay with you, whom you can relate to and who will
disturb you. I am glad that I read this book for Lopamudra is indeed
one of the finest writers of our times. I am yet to meet a person
who can write so poetic, so lyrical. There is a magic in her writing
and it mesmerizes you. Reading this book is like a divine
experience. There were moments when while reading the book I closed
my eyes to drench myself completely into the beauty of the words. I
wished the book would never finish. The book is a page turner in
spite of the fact that it has no linear story structure as such.
Thwarted Escape: An Immigrant's Wayward Journey is a masterpiece that cannot be missed.