Sometimes it is better to QUIT

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The Story of My Half Girlfriend

‘Thank you so much for everything that you have done for me. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been had you not been there.’ Soumya said keeping her hand over mine. Having known her for all these years, I knew she wasn’t lying. She indeed valued my presence in her life.

‘Don’t even mention it. I am always there for you. 365 days a week, 24X7’ I said placing my other hand over hers. That was when she pulled back her hand and said. ‘Thanks.’

Some relationships are like that. They don’t have any meaning. But do relationships require any meaning? Aren’t they way beautiful the way they are? Why do we want to compartmentalize them and give them formal names?

Attribute it to my conditioning or the social structure that I live in. I wanted to take things forward with Soumya. I liked her company and she liked being with me to. ‘You always inject a positive energy into me.’ She would say giving me a hug.

We would chat for long hours. Time slipped away but our chats did not stop. I longed to be with her. To hear her giggles and to see her smiles. I would call her almost every day. But she would agree to meet me only once or twice a week. She would come to meet me as and when she had any problems. She would take her heart out and I would listen to her. Listen to her without giving any advice. Then once she was done I would tell her a few jokes and she would laugh. I would share the latest school gossip with her and she would widen her eyes and say, ‘Oh, is it so?’ Once her mood was changed I would deal with her problem, albeit subtly. I would focus on the positive things of her life and that particular situations. Fiddling with her dupatta she would say, ‘I never thought this way.’ She would return home in a positive mood. Even her parents knew about it. So whenever she was feeling down, her mother would say, ‘Go and meet Raj.’

‘It would be so beautiful if we spend all our lives together.’ I said one day sensing her jovial mood.

‘Of course. We are friends and we will stay in touch.’ Gazing at the walls she said.

I went on to explain her that I wished to marry her. She didn’t react. She neither accepted my proposal nor did she turn me down. The status of our relationship was hanging somewhere in between.

She came to me only when she had some problem in my life. That gave me a feeling of being a doormat. I tried speaking to her a couple of times about my feelings, she said that the caste barrier that stood tall between us would never permit our union.

I passed out of the school and went to college of which she was not a part. The frequency of our contacts reduced and one day she married some other person. Her marriage has its own set of ups and downs. She calls me for guidance during the down phases and choses to ignore my calls saying ‘The baby was crying.’ But still she remains special in my heart. Sometimes I wonder would she have been happier if she was with me. But the answer is we never know how our lives would have been if we had taken some other decision. May be yes, may be no.

“I am sharing a Half relationship story at BlogAdda in association with #HalfGirlfriend”

Was marriage your biggest mistake?

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Indian to the core

My head was throbbing. I was to appear for my final year exam in next week. I was too worried. No matter how much I studied, I was not sure if I would be able to top the examinations. I had topped the examinations for the past two years and now there was tremendous pressure on me to maintain my track record. The fear of outcome made me close my book. I sat holding my head in my hands. All sorts of negative thoughts were bombarding me. What if I don’t top the examinations? I would lose everything. One bad thought gave rise to another and finally I was doubtful if I would pass my examination. That was when my mother stroked my back and said, ‘Don’t worry child. Do your best and leave everything to God. After all, everything is not in our control.’ 

My mother was not that educated. Yet she knew this philosophy which is ingrained in every Indian."कर्मणये वाधिकारस्ते मां फलेषु कदाचन । मां कर्मफलहेतुर्भू: मांते संङगोस्त्वकर्मणि" ।। Says the Bhagwat Gita which is revered in every Indian household. In simple words it means that perform your duties and actions, but never hanker for the end result. 

It was the end result which I was worried about and once I detached myself from it, a heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders. I studied without any pressure of the outcome, wrote my exams. No wonders I topped the examinations. But I had learnt a valuable lesson. Rather it was always in my genes. Some dust had gathered on it. My mother had wiped it and I was again reintroduced to the greatest philosophy – All things are not in our control.

We Indians have known for thousands of years that we cannot control everything. But we are not fatalistic. We know we cannot control the storm. Instead of wasting energy on how to prevent the storm, we focus on how we can prepare ourselves to face it. Majority of Indians are poor. Yet they have the most beautiful smiles in the world. This is because of the true contentment, which comes from acceptance of things which we cannot change.

Even modern science has classified persons into two categories. Type A are the persons who want to control everything. They are always stressed. They are more prone to heart diseases. Type B people know that everything is not in their control and this acceptance saves them from cardiac problems. Doctors suggest that Type A people should change their personalities to prevent heart diseases.

I was an atheist, but when I learnt that everything is not in my control, I began to believe in God. As told in the Bhagwat Gita, I surrender my actions at His feet. That has made me more relaxed, more open. No wonders Indian influence is increasing in Lufthansa’s TVCs. #MoreIndianThanYouThink

Have you read my latest book The Story of My Second Marriage

 
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Think with Me

A person who has been behind the bars for many months speaking of morality is ironical. But that has not deterred Saharasri Subrata Roy Sahara from writing his second book in Think with me in Thoughts from Tihar trilogy.

This small book has five chapters each devoted to Electoral System and leadership, Population, Education System, Media and Religion. The author discusses each of this topics, shares his point of view and offers solutions for the betterment of the existing system. I was unaware of the Nominated Deputy Member of Parliament mentioned in the book.

The book gives heavy heady doses of morality and is neither encouraging nor entertaining. So go for this book only and only if you are a die hard fan of the author.

The Story of My Second Marriage - Have you read it?

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Kissing the Demon - Book Review

There are numerous books written on creative writing. But all of them are written by foreign authors with references to foreign novels. There is nothing written by an Indian to help the upcoming authors hone their skills. Kissing the Demon by Amrita Kumar fills this void on the Indian literary scene.

To plot or not to plot is an eternal dilemma for every author. This book answers this question. It has a section devoted to creating the unforgettable characters. Point of view is also discussed in detail. I really liked the tips offered by the author for writing dialogues. The way she tells us to incorporate the story in the settings is bound to help every author.

A book written is a job only half done. Editing and finding a publisher continue to be a nightmare for every author. The book deals with these aspects as well.

This isn’t a book, it is a course in creative writing. Hence this book is highly recommended.

Key to My Soul - Book Review

An accident, a girl in coma, a boy in search of a girl whom he loved, Probal Mazumdar’s debut novel Key to My Soul has a familiar premise. The protagonist Siddharth is in his school when he meets the love of his life Hazel. One day Hazel suddenly disappears only to resurface after seventeen years, this time immobile in a vegetable state. What she has left behind for him are letters, which will reveal some deep hidden secrets.

The book makes a promising beginning. If you grew up in the eighties and the nineties, you will perfectly relate to his writings. The feeling of nostalgia is the USP of this book. The free-flowing language makes you to yearn for more. But unfortunately the novel falters and doesn’t live up to expectations. The letters neither gel with the narrative nor do they evoke emotions. The novel drags in the second half. There are couple of spelling mistakes in the book. Read this novel only if you like reading mushy love stories which defy logic.

The Story of My Second Marriage

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The Story of My Second Marriage - A big Thank you

A big Thank you 

Thwarted Escape: An Immigrant's Wayward Journey

 
Lopamudra Banerjee’s Thwarted Escape: An Immigrant's Wayward Journey introduced me to a new genre called creative non-fiction. Until then I had never read anything like that.

This book is a collage of various experiences. Her growing up years in India in a Bengali family. The traumatic experience of being abused as a child. Her empathy towards the Delhi gang rape victim to her motherhood the author choses so many topics. Her life in the US too forms an important part of this narrative.

Lopamudra isn’t a writer. She is a poet, she is a painter who with her words weaves poetry and paints the canvass, bringing true to life characters who stay with you, whom you can relate to and who will disturb you. I am glad that I read this book for Lopamudra is indeed one of the finest writers of our times. I am yet to meet a person who can write so poetic, so lyrical. There is a magic in her writing and it mesmerizes you. Reading this book is like a divine experience. There were moments when while reading the book I closed my eyes to drench myself completely into the beauty of the words. I wished the book would never finish. The book is a page turner in spite of the fact that it has no linear story structure as such. 

 

Thwarted Escape: An Immigrant's Wayward Journey is a masterpiece that cannot be missed.