To be or not to be

Pre-marital sex has always been there. The only change is that today's generation is open enough to discuss it.

I feel the answer to the question whether one can have premarital sex is both yes and no. If you are under the age of eighteen I would say no to having premarital sex. If you are unaware of what is safe sex I would ask you to refrain from premarital sex. If you think that your manliness can be counted only on the number of girls you have seduced to bed, then too a big no to premarital sex. Your habit will ensure that you will never be loyal to your spouse.

Now who can have premarital sex?

1. An adult. You must be an adult to have premarital sex
2. Emotionally stable. You must be emotionally stable if you want to indulge in premarital sex. Don't get swayed by emotions. If your culture , religion and morals are going to prick you for having premarital sex, it is better to refrain from it.
   
   

   
3. Safe sex. This is the most important aspect of premarital sex. You should always practise safe sex. Not only will it reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancy, but also protect you from sexually transmitted diseases.
4. Don't reduce sex to a commodity. Sex is one of the most beautiful and delicate acts. Don't reduce it to a commodity which you wish to own at any cost. Your manliness lies in your capacity to control your mind and not in boasting your count amongst your friends.
5. Learn to say no. If your partner wishes to have premarital sex and you are not sure of it, speak about it and bargain for time. If you are having sex with your partner under the impression that he or she is going to marry you, it would be better to wait until the marriage is solemnized.

Sex is a wonderful thing. Our eastern philosophy has looked at it as one of the doors which will open up the gates to enlightenment. At the same time, it can not be overlooked that the epidemic of AIDS is on a rise in India. So in a nutshell if you are an responsible adult you may indulge in premarital sex if you are really ready for it and if you practice safe sex.

Some people regard virginity as a most valuable asset which is to be closely guarded. For some having sex with multiple partners is just like sipping a cup of coffee with your friends. I think both these approaches are far extremes.

We adults hardly speak about sex with our children. That raises their curiosity about sex. If we talk to them and educate them, they will realize that the carnal urge is like any other urge. It is just like feeling thirsty or hungry. So the familiarity of the topic will reduce the burning desire to experience it at the earliest if not breed contempt. 


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