Every
relationship has its own share of dynamics. If you analyze any
relationship you will agree with me that in any relationship there is
a dominant person who dominates and the other meekly accepts. The
other's acceptance seems to be the fuel that makes that relationship
going. The other person is reduced to a being a mere door mat.
Yes,
that is the word door mat. I had become the door mat in that
relationship. Why? Because I wanted to save it at any cost. Because I
loved that person more than my life. She knew it. Even her parents
knew it. My love for her had become a tool for blackmailing me. Yes,
blackmailing - emotional blackmailing – the worst form of
blackmailing in the world.
So
if I did not succumb to their pressures they would take her away from
me. My mind volleyed and cried for the unpleasant departure. But they
were ruthless. For them it was just a tactics to upkeep their
dominant position in the relationship. By doing so they thought that
they were keeping me in their control. There was not an iota of pain
in her eyes. Rather she kept the victorious glaze in her eyes intact.
Then
again I was called to accept all their unreasonable demands. My love
for her made me walk an extra mile and accept it. Surrendering is the
basis of love, isn't it? You do not become big or small by saying
sorry to any one. That was what I was taught. Little did I know that
it was all wrong. So I apologized for all the wrongs which I had not
done. She was back in my arms.
But
then again the happy days flew like incense and we were back to
square one. It was her way or highway. I had no word in spite of the
fact that it was my money that was keeping the house running and I
had not borrowed a single penny from her or her parents. It was their
game plan. But little did they know that He is the planner. His plans
are those which eventually work. Plans of us little mortals will not
always work, no matter how meticulously we plan them. Don't they say
– man proposes, God disposes.
So
again I was emotionally blackmailed. Listen to us or we will take her
with us, they said. The world seemed to have come to a standstill. I
did not know what to do. I did not wish to lose her. I had become a
puppet in their hands. I had totally forgotten that I too had a
choice. There was no reason to submit to their demands when I did not
owe a single penny nor any obligation towards them. I was trapped in
their vicious plans.
But
as stated earlier no matter how much one plans, His plans always
prevail. “Do you agree to what we are saying,” asked her raucous
father.
“Or
we will take her away.” He said. His face had the wicked smile akin
to those which the villains in the Bollywood movies and demons in the
mythological serials have.
“Yes,
you may take her with you.” I said.
“We
will implicate you in several false cases.” Said her mother.
“I
will spoil your career.” She threatened me.
But
still I remained firm. I guess saying I would be wrong. I strongly
feel that I was possessed by some strong holy spirit that day. It had
decided that I too had a life of my own.
That
day her father seemed to have lost the game. His plan had backfired.
When the oppressed is no longer afraid of the oppressor, the game is
over. I was free in a moment. I was empowered. I got my lost
self-esteem back. I was one with the God. I feel that this is what
Goddess Kali teaches us. Not to be afraid of anyone and to fight with
the demons. All the wars are fought in the mind. They are first won
or lost in the mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment