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Friday 15 April 2022

Mountain or a molehill?


‘You men, when you will stop thinking that you are smarter than us?’ Nimmi smirked vilely, 'You thought, you seduced her. The fact is, she seduced you, using the same techniques that I had used to bed your father. Ask her’

I looked at Alia. She said turned her glance down and dug the ground with her toe.

‘Alia is it true?’ I asked.

‘I mean…,’ Alia fumbled with words, ‘ What I mean is that… it isn’t completely true either.’

‘This woman and her play of words. She should have been a lawyer and played with law instead of dabbling in black magic.’ Nimmi said.

‘Don’t believe her. You very well what kind of woman she is. Tarun, look into my eyes. Do you feel I would have done that?’ Alia asked. I was momentarily lost in her eyes.

***

I and Alia complimented each other well. Something which I can’t say about Somi. I still remember the day when the company lost multi-crore contract because of my fault. I felt devastated. In times of adversity, the mind becomes myopic. It sees only the negative outcomes. The same happened with me. I thought I would be fired. That whole night I sat in the office. There was no one except me and Alia. I sat on the sofa, pondering over things. Trying to think how could be the wrong done right. But no solution was seen in the sight.

I had not told Somi as to what had happened. With years of coexistence, I knew she would behave normal and simply ask me to forget about it. I was not seeking sympathy, but I wish she was bit empathetic and understanding.

That whole night Alia waited with me. She came and sat next to me on the couch and placed her hand on mine.  Though the skin-to-skin contact remains the same, every touch has a different meaning. This time the touch was asexual. It was an assurance that I am there for you. We didn’t speak much, but the feelings travelled from like the fragrance of musk.  We just stayed there. Our relationship had passed the test of adversity. That was the only comforting factor in that whole situation.

In the wee hours of the morning, I dropped Alia home and returned to my house. Somi didn’t even enquire where I had been for the whole night. It was not that me staying out of the house for the entire night was a routine affair. Still, she didn’t ask me. It was this indifference of her that was causing me restless. She should have at least asked me, showed some concern about my well being and exercised some ownership over me. But nothing of that sort ever happened. That drifted her even far from me.

After some days, when I conveyed her that I felt deeply hurt as she had not even enquired as to what was wrong with me, why had I stayed in the office all night. She shrugged her shoulders and said, ‘I know there was some problem with the office. Every work is accompanied by some tension. One must get used to it and not make a  mountain out of a mole hill.’

Sometimes I wondered if Alia too would snatch me away from Somi, the way Nimmi had snatched my father. For the first time in my life, being childless appeared to be a boon. If I had a child, he too must have suffered the same agony as me.  One day, when we slept next to one another after a passionate session of love making, I held Alia in an embrace. She rested her head on my shoulder and gently ran her fingers through my hairy chest.

'Alia, would you be offended if I tell you something.’ I asked her.

There was a pause. Not a word spoken. Our breaths mixed into one another. Alia took my hand in hers and kissed it.

‘Alia, you are very special to me. You are a God given gift. But I want to tell you that…’ A knot formed in my throat.  I didn’t have the heart to play with her emotions. I cleared my throat and said, ‘ Alia, though I would like the relationship to be continued, I … I… cannot leave Somi.’

Alia had a belly laughter. It was strange to watch her like that. Ripples formed on her soft pink stomach as she laughed. I was baffled. She covered her face with her hands and tried to muffle her laughter.

After a while she said, ‘You don’t have to worry about anything. I won’t ask you for anything. I have given up begging long back and that too after a hard lesson.’

I got up from the bed and began to button my shirt. Alia grabbed my hand and asked, ‘Did you feel bad?

I moved my head side to side and conveyed her that I didn’t feel bad.

‘Tarun, you know, I too had lofty dreams at one point of time.  I too hankered for a big house and a loving partner to name a few. Then when slowly each of the dreams began to shatter, brick by brick. I then started begging for sympathy. I wanted people to hear my sob stories and put some coins of sympathy in my empty basket. Then one day I felt pity about myself. I resolved that I will not beg for anything. Then you came into my life. You never enquired anything about me nor did you show any sympathy. You uplifted me from the status of a beggar and that is the reason why I was drawn to you. 

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